lil’ snow white

thank god i had xueyin to accompany me tonite. we sat at tcc frm dinner time till almost 11pm, sharin our experiences etc n realisin each time how different we really are. i’d died if i were to spend this friday alone. fiona is overseas n i jus din wanna meet anyone else.

i told only 3 ppl in e office abt it. e closest ones. they seriously cldnt tell anythin was wrong wif me. one of them gasped n said “omigod. but u look so normal. u look jus like e usual candy, like nothin is wrong.”

i guess i’m really the PR queen. for e past 2 days i din needa try too hard, but i cld jus be myself, joke, laugh as per normal whenever there’re ppl ard.

life sucks lar.

i cry a little every time i’m alone, be it my room or e toilet. but like wat morrie (u noe, tuesdays with morrie) says, just a few tearful minutes, n on with e day. ok i have e book wif me, i din memorise e lines!

i dun lose slp over it. in fact im so exhausted every nite i simply dozed off in no time. but every nite i’d wake up a few times frm my sleep, as if expectin to see someone beside me, but only to end up feelin a sense of loss.

i miss doggy. she was our baby. shld i secretly go n visit her since i have e keys? every nite i watch e video we had of her a few times before slpin but now it only triggers more tears.

i miss my baby. i wish i can jus run to him n be in his arms. i wish i can convince myself tt he loves me jus as much as i love him.

it hurts.

i hate boyfriends.

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