lil’ snow white

Yay!! we’re back frm our dive trip. it’s candy’s first time diving and btw she’s now a CERTIFIED DIVER!! hahaha. we set off for the beautiful island at 8pm, all excited abt the dives and the beach and.. tada! this stupid candy forgot her passport!! nobody mentioned anythin abt that!! sheesh. luckily mummy was nice enough to bring it to e checkpt for me. booo, wat a stupid idiot.

the journey to the island was torturous. we only reached our destination at ard 6am e followin mornin, after a dreadful 4-hr bus ride and 6-hr boat ride. the livin conditions on dayang island simply sucked. the bedrms were dorm-style, and e food was terrible. even e (foolproof) bbq was far frm wat we expected. at that pt i seriously wished i was in bintan enjoyin pantai grill.. sulk.

well despite e lousy conditions, i must agree that dayang is an enchantin place wif a nice beach n clear blue waters. the dives were so fun!! it’ll be nice to dive again at the surroundin islands again, so i’ve decided tt e next time i visit e place, i’ll only stay at Pulau Aur which is jus a few hundred metres away n is supposedly much better than dayang.

    
Us after the 1st dive!                            the nice blue sea…

    
baby puttin on his wetsuit.                        me all geared up!!      

    
  oooh that’s me after ascendin!             me climbin onto e boat.. heavy!!

    
baby foldin my panty for me!              the whole gang frm 51 Scuba!

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wat’s e pt of gettin myself so happy over a wkend n be slammed by some cruel truth e followin wk?

wat’s e pt of havin a pretty face when all it does is to attract guys for e wrong reasons?

wat’s e pt of havin a boyfriend who doesnt love u 100%?

wat’s e pt of tryin so hard?

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me: baby, will u go to hokkaido wif me in future (in feb to see the snow festival)?
baby: no… dun really have e desire to see japan
me: hmm but last time u said u wanna go wif me wat.
baby: oh.. why huh? (seriously puzzled why e hell he said that)
me: why? cos last time u were so infatuated wif me that u’ll do anythin as long as u’re doin it wif me?
baby: ok…

after some time,
me: why did u jus say ok?
baby: wat do u wan me to say? u alrdy noe e answer..
me: ok…

i’m the biggest fool in this world.

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the wkend was a relaxing, nice one spent with my baby. in fact we din do much over the wkend. on friday we went to scarlet hotel for a nice romantic dinner on the rooftop. we ordered a bottle of bordeaux wine which was pretty good n there we sat, enjoyin the breeze (ok not that windy lar), sippin our wine and chattin for nearly 3 hrs! wat a sweet thing i find, whenever me n baby come together for a drink n talk abt anythin.

then saturday came and again all we did was to spend time with the doggy, go for meals and dessert at baker’s inn (ok my first time there.. haha ulu..). today we bathed the doggy and watched discovery channel at home. it’s been yrs since i last watched tv liddat at home n it felt really very very warm.

wat a wonderful wkend spent with my baby! however time flies n before we knew it, it was time to go home. but baby says dun worry, we’re meetin again tonite to watch the world cup finals! YIPPEE! candy is a happy girl once again.. all thanks to baby’s sweet effort to keep me company over e wkend! *smiles* 

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with much reluctance i decided to give my expenses a quick count for june. i swear that the GSS in june had a voodoo effect on me!

first it started wif my dior bag n wallet, which accounted for nearly half the bill amt, and followin which ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE! so came e stupid dior pouch n other dior cosmetics that amted to 600. and then the shoppin spree at victoria’s secret which blew 200. i even ordered e items to be sent in a gift box so that it’ll look like im receiving a gift! by then i realised that none of e purchases were on sale or by any way related to the GSS but oh well.. i guess my depression got e better of me in e past few wks. : (

i usually pay my bill as they arrive rather than wait for it to come at mth end. thot that’ll allow me to manage my finances better. but in e voodoo-ed june, this somehow din work. i’ve paid my bill 3 times alrdy, n there’s still a 1.6k bill that has yet to reach me but will arrive VERY soon.

argh.. i’m alrdy dry of funds in my current account. n then there’s still a taiwan trip in early august that’ll require payment in no time, threatenin to push my bills to a record high of 5k! shit. i foresee that the loan sharks will be knockin on my door soon n the only way out of this will be to jump off the buildin. soon i’ll bid e world goodbye n fly up to heaven. bye bye world.. pls pray for me when im gone. sobs..

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u noe how weird this feels? u think it doesnt feel right anymore yet u so desperately wanna make things right again. i never cld understand why ppl say that the feeling is no longer e same anymore. i always thot it sounded absurd n cruel, but now maybe im slowly beginnin to understand it.

life sucks big time. it’s affectin me so much yet there’s nothin i can do anytime soon to solve e prob. yeah i’m in a fix. i cry myself to bed every nite n i dunno why. i jus wanna give up on life. somebody help me pls. somebody pick me up n take me away frm this world pls.

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