i have a paper tmr! it’s called stochastic and survival models. basically it’s not english n no one understands wat the whole subject is tryin to say.
im dead, im dead.
if my baby sees me he’s gonna go “AIYOH.. surfin again” but it’s jus a short entry today. im dead, im dead.
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the reason for my previous post, was cos i saw this msg in his SENT item: “Ex-gf is here. Pls do not mention anythin abt Candy. Reply when received”
how is any girl supposed to react or think if they see such a msg bein sent out by their bf, and upon confrontation the fren pretends that no ex-gf was present??
so this morn, i asked my baby for an explanation. so apparently the reason was cos TERESA xxx (i dunno wat her fuckin full name is) bein his most recent ex-gf, has NOT gotten over him yet after brkin up for near 2 yrs.
well i can very well understand that.. (YOU TOOK HER VIRGINITY OF COURSE SHE FUCKIN CANT GET OVER YOU LAR FUCK!).. but the prob is my dum ass bf thinks that he doesnt wanna make her feel too upset, SO HE ASKED THE WHOLE GANG TO NOT LET HER NOE THAT HE’S GOT A NEW GF.
TERESA is frm his uni gang n they’ve always been meetin up regularly. i have nothin against that BUT (A VERY FUCKIN BIG BUT) it is certainly disturbin that my dum ass bf has to intentionally keep certain information LIKE HAVING A NEW GF WHOM HE TRULY LOVES frm this REBOUND NUT CASE. FUCKIN CB!
the other time this FUCKIN HARD CORE NUTCASE by the name of IRENE SOH who’s broken up with him for 8 yrs (8 yrs my goodness) and who’s still like sms-ing him wanted to meet him durin xmas to pass him some xmas present. but we were spendin xmas together so in e end he din meet her and that FUCKIN NBCB BITCH gave him some attitude n that stupid boy felt soooo bad for makin her sad.
which explains why he doesnt wanna let TERESA noe. so wat am i supposed to do the next time u tell me u’re meetin the uni gang? i asked my dumbest bf. so he apologised for not thinkin abt the repercussions of his actions and said we’ll go meet her together in future.
so am i supposed to PRETEND i’ve never met the other members of the grp before so that ur previous lies to POOR LITTLE TERESA will not be exposed? U UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL? i feel like an illegitimate gf, someone u can’t even openly show to ur frens.
I AM FILLED WITH ANGST.
because these girls shld be not be given the wrong impression that there’s still hope ANYMORE! my moronic boyfriend thinks that he’s alrdy told them b4 so they shld noe, BUT NO, girls are fuckin diehard at times. i noe cos i’ve been thru this. CRUELTY, if u have to put a word to it, IS THE WAY TO GO.
LET THEM NOE THAT U HAVE A GF WHOM U TRULY LOVE SO THAT THEY’LL STOP THINKING THAT THERE’S STILL CHANCE.
AND YOU GIRLS BETTER WAKE UP YOUR BIG FUCKIN IDEA AND GET IT IN YOUR BLOODY FUCKIN STUPID HEAD THAT MR CHOO WAI CHIONG IS NEVER GONNA GO BACK TO YOU EVER AGAIN, ONE NBCB REBOUND CASE AND ONE JUNIOR COLLEGE PUPPY LOVE GF.
AND EVEN IF U REALLY HAVE TO FEEL SAD, KEEP IT TO URSELF + UR CLOSE FRENS N STOP SHOWING IT TO MY BABY WITH THE ILLUSION THAT IT’LL MAKE HIM PITY U AND GO BACK TO U.
MY HONEST OPINION? IT’S BEEN SO MANY BLOODY FUCKING YEARS, SO FUCKIN FACE REALITY AND MOVE ON BITCH!!
pardon my cursin n swearin pls. i’m jus a poor little girl, u noe.. whom no one understands cos i love a guy but he doesnt reciprocate etc etc etc. FUCK LAR, WAKE UP UR BLOODY FUCKIN IDEA!!!
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i smsed wai chiong’s fren and asked who they met last fri, and if there’s sthg i shldnt noe. he said nope, jus some frens. i said “frens like ex-gf?” and he replied “nope, jus the regular bunch”
why does he wanna lie to me? why do they both wanna lie to me?
we jus got back together n i really dunno wat kind of an answer i can expect tmr morn. my weak heart cannot take this kinda joke man. wat’s there to hide frm me? have i been having the wrong impression of how holy good my bf is??
can someone tell me pls?
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haha as u might have guessed, me n baby are ok now! it’s been a few days since we got back together but i was too busy to post it. which means, we only ‘broke up’ for like.. 2 days?
so wat was the reason behind the brkup n the patch up?
the re-enactment:
baby: i feel that u jus wan my life to revolve ard u. i still have parents, still have a dog, my frens n my life.. so if u wan me to act like an orphan or a hermit wif no life, im sorry i cant do that.
me: (he wans to break up wif me..??) ok, forget it. i’ll pack ur things for u.
baby: u dun wan me to come here anymore?
stubborn me: *shakes head*
and so my baby left the hse thinkin that it was ridiculous for me to show him the door jus for that. so how did we get back together?
me: (on the phone) baby, u dun wan me anymore?
baby: i do!
stupid me: then why did u leave?
baby: cos u showed me the door.
me: ok…..
and we talked things thru n found a solution to our prob! that nite baby asked if he cld come over to stay wif me n i was so relieved that everythin has gone back to normal.
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i discovered a trend among my past relationships.
past r/s:
1st - 3 + 1/2 yrs
2nd - 1 yr
3rd - 6 mths
4th - 4 + 1/2 mths
projection:
5th - 3 mths
6th - 2 mths
7th - 1 mth?
HOLY SHIT! no way man.. actually ever since the 3rd bf, i’ve set out to find a steady bf whom i can eventually marry. others who dun make the mark were never included in the list heh. but it seems like i’ve failed to keep a r/s again.
it feels so weird.. jus few days back i posted an entry sayin that i felt very blissful, and jus one day ago i was telling adeline that i felt very lucky to have met my bf, and then the next day we’ve split up. but then i also realised that the more r/s we’ve been thru, the easier it is to say brk up. i rem the time when i was wif jiayu my 1st bf, we quarrelled, we cried and we survived as a couple for more than 3 yrs. these days we say brk up as soon as we suspect the presence of a ‘fundamental’ prob.
as we go thru more brkups, it also appears that they become easier to handle. it still feels like shit, but the tears have not only become lesser, they are also much more controllable. life still sucks big time, but i’m still able to study albeit at a much slower pace. u’d think, if i can survive the past brkup, there’s no reason why i cannot survive this.
actually the most tedious thing following a brk up is the explanations u have to do. come april when there’s a family gathering, my aunties will be askin where wai chiong is etc. even if i try to avoid the question, the truth will be out when no one sends me off to japan or pick me up frm the airport when i return. and then there’ll be frens who’ll start analysing ur failed r/s, there’ll be some who will side u, n others who will side him n then the explanations continue. it’s such a chore. n everyone will think “oh she’s gonna change boyfren AGAIN” oh fuck! leave me alone.
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